Saturday, May 2, 2009 aLLy ChAi ♥ 11:31 PM
silently cried.i had found a song which sang by avril lavigne, named slipped away. i think its suit me. i miss him. but i try to not. well. when will i finish thinking him? time will settled this all. but i need is time. luckily i have enough time. i noe you was happy with your girlfriend. but don happy infront me. i might still will heart pain this and now. although i had decided to forget you. but i still need time. orelse i might very exhausting. *I miss you ; miss you so bad ; I don't forget you ; oh it's so sad ; i hope you can hear me ; i remember it clearly* i'll remember the 12 days v had. actually i'm writing so obvious here. if you are that person i writing, i'm sure to know who am i saying on. i had use almost 1 year time to hate you and love you. i'm so sad i can't do anything on this. i can't keep this relationship for long. everybody was curious y i love you so much. alot ppl had ask me y? what u treat me in that 12 days. y i'll love u till now. but all i can't answer. all i also dunno. y huh? y huh? maybe coz of that kiss? i don't think so? coz that time v went out? no. coz u hug me? won't. i dunno. i really dunno. i just know i'm so happy in the 12th day only v had. in this 12 day i felt happened too much things. too now i also can't even forgotten. because of you. i can't concentrate to love other people. after couple with you, i dun feel want to couple again. because i know i'm still loving you. thats y i try to forget you. i feel so proud of myself when i feel ntg to you on Wednesday. you came in to do something and went out. i treat like you are other person, i dun hope because of you, i cried again. but nope, i'm crying now. hmm.. y huh? y i'll so miss you? some more 6 days, it is 1 year after we couple. i remember last year's Wesak day, i'm still thinking of you, want to take a orange string to help you to tie. but then, just on that day, i cry in the swimming pool, because what? you break with me and give me such a rubbish reason! i noe that ain't of the reason, i noe your mom is let you do whatever you want. even if is your mother want us to break, we can still couple secretly. fine. it is fine. reason is just cause you love her, you just want a replacement of her. but then, you found another better than me. so you couple with her. actually i do hate her that time. i'm so happy when i heard people say u break with her. because of you, how bad am i? hahahs.. what a strenghtless laugh.. i'm really feel sad. i know i'm not pretty, not good in body shape, not good in study, not polite. but you did hurt me. because of love you alot. i gave you. but i dunno is yours too. i did cry in car on that Tuesday, because i saw you, n her. i'm really sad. fine fine fine. i should stop your things here.
my friend, u make me sad. u make me angry. and u make me feel annoying. i'm so confuse on u. who am i and who are u? why must i help u? y you always find me for those? i'm not a teacher. i'm not a god. i'm not a doctor. and i'm not a prostitute! do u know when u ask a girl those question, they will feel not comfortable on it? especially i'm not your lover, girlfriend, or whoever. maybe u treat me as your best friend in female, but i just treat you as a very normal friend. i dun need you to understand me. but i oso dun want to answer your question to let u understand me or either others. u ask me to forgive u. i'll try on it. i dunno whether i can make it or not. please give me some time, give me some privacy, and get out from my world. you will hurt me. maybe u dunno, but u did. if you had read this, please and please. don't ask me anymore those question. don't ask me to help u. ask ur other fren not me, they may help u. find a girl to be your girlfriend and ask her to help u those things you want. but not me. please. i'm not a horny person; a prostitute; lascivious person. i won't help you okays! you had make me so bad mood in this few days. i can't even practice my piano because i'm in upset of you. please. i beg u. don't come and find me for this things anymore. i may won't reply your message. you say to improve your knowledge, if i were so good to improve yours. so how if others ppl want me to improve theirs? will i oso go improve theirs? if they say their bed skill was bad enough, will i go help them? NONO!! i won't. so please be smart, dun be stupid ;stubborn. I'll appreciate if you respect me, and my choice. Because of you, i started to scare of SMS. Every time when my phone beeps. I'll worry who is the person who send me msg? what will he write? what he want me to do again? can i reject? i had reject but y so hard to reject? y he say so much this kind of things? y n y n y. i have a lot of questions.
i had edited Quince's blog. till midnite, 2.30am. see how good am i. her blog is simple and nice now. hope she will love it. lols.
Thx for this two person, jiaen n quince. i love both of them alot.
*i must forget you.aLLy ChAi ♥
